“see you.” - Bridge to Teribithia
“see you.”
I spend alot of time this past year discussing grief and loss with children and youth, trying to navigate the existential question we are all employed to answer ourselfs, what happens when we die. Before we could understand the depths of heaven or hell, after life or reincarnation we had to first try and understand what is grief.
We started by watching movies, finding themes, asking questions and trying to understand the why behind the way we were feeling. After a handful of movies later and a lot of tears he realized we had a lot more questions then answers but we did realize this, even after we loose someone we love, we never stop looking for them, and if we look just a little closer, we can find them in everything.
Together we compiled a list of children movies with themes of loss and grief, the help others introduce grief into your home and help your little ones ask and understand their own questions.
Onward
In a modern world inhabited by magical creatures, Ian Lightfoot (Tom Holland) struggles with the fact that he never knew his father. For his sixteenth birthday, he is given a magic staff from his father and instructions on how to spend one day with him. Unfortunately, the crystal needed to cast the spell gets damaged, so Ian and his older brother, Barley (Chris Pratt) go on a quest to find another.
Onward explores the importance of family in finding closure. Ian and Barley both wish for closure with their father: Ian never knew him and Barley never got to say goodbye. During their quest, they realize the importance of emotional support from those that are still present, which leads to a beautiful moment of sacrifice in the climax.
Up
As children, Carl (Jeremy Leary and Ed Asner) and Ellie (Eli Docter) bonded over their shared love of adventure and made a promise to go to Paradise Falls. Sadly, real life gets in the way, and Ellie dies before they can travel. When Carl is threatened to be evicted from his home, he ties thousands of balloons to it with the intent of flying it to Paradise Falls.
The grief of losing Ellie stunts Carl: he becomes a bitter recluse clinging desperately to every memory of his wife while the world moves on. This causes him to act irrationally when those memories are threatened, such as accidentally damaging a mailbox. It isn't until he starts living in the moment and interacting with a young boy named Russel (Jordan Nagai) that Carl is able to move on.
Brother Bear
After losing his brother, Sitka (D.B. Sweeney) to a bear attack, Kenai (Joaquin Phoenix) goes against the wishes of his tribe and kills the bear. This incurs the wrath of the spirits, who transform him into a bear and send him into the wilds. He finds a young cub named Koda (Jeremy Suarez), who agrees to take him back to the mountain where he was changed if Kenai takes him to the salmon run.
Grief, revenge, and forgiveness are the driving themes of Brother Bear. Kenai blamed the bear for Sitka's death as a way of absolving himself of accountability, but all it did was make the situation worse. After Kenai is transformed, his last brother, Denahi (Jason Raize), also gives in to grief and hunts Kenai, thinking he is the bear that destroyed his family.
Inside Out
Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness (Phyllis Smith), Anger (Lewis Black), Fear (Bill Hader), and Disgust (Mindy Kaling) are anthropomorphized emotions of a young girl named Riley (Kaitlyn Dias). When Riley struggles to adapt to moving to San Francisco, she created a sad core memory, which Joy attempts to bury. This accidentally gets her and Sadness knocked out of central control, and Riley spirals further into depression.
Inside Out demonstrates a nuanced look at the role of grief in shaping our lives. Many of Riley's happiest memories have hints of sadness and grief hidden within them, which makes the joyous parts even more powerful. It is through these sadder moments that we can appreciate the good in life and empathize with and comfort others in their time of need.
Frozen
In the kingdom of Arendelle, Princess Elsa (Eva Bella, Spencer Lacey Ganus, and Idina Menzel) is born with powers over ice, but after accidentally hurting her sister, Anna (Livvy Stubenrauch, Agatha Lee Monn, and Kristen Bell), her parents decide to conceal her powers. After their tragic deaths, Elsa and Anna live apart until the day of Elsa's coronation, where unfortunate circumstances lead to her exposure. Terrified, Elsa flees into the mountains and accidentally freezes the kingdom.
Frozen is a masterclass on the dangers of unresolved grief. It drives Elsa to isolate herself from her sister and kingdom, which causes her to suppress her emotions. Fortunately, Anna is there to provide support, which helps Elsa come to terms with her fears and allows both sisters to move past their shared grief.
Big Hero 6
At the insistence of his older brother, Tadashi (Daniel Henney), Hiro Hamada (Ryan Potter) applies to a prestigious tech school by inventing microbots that can be controlled with a headset. A fire burns down the school, and Tadashi dies trying to save his professor. After accidentally activating Tadashi's robot, Baymax (Scott Adsit), Hiro stumbles upon a new villain using his microbots, and rallies Tadashi's friends to help him investigate.
Hiro's grief is shown in various stages throughout the film. Immediately following Tadashi's death, he closes himself off from his friends and remaining family and only becomes invested in them when they agree to help him find answers. His anger eventually drives him to turn Baymax into the opposite of Tadashi's vision, which snaps back to his senses and shifts his focus from revenge to protecting others.
7. The Lion King
Simba (Johnathan Taylor Thomas and Matthew Broderick) is the son of King Mufasa (James Earl Jones) and the young prince of Pride Lands. This leaves him a little cocky and adventurous, which his uncle, Scar (Jeremy Irons) uses to lure him and his father into traps. One of these is a wildebeest stampede that leads Mufasa dead and Simba distraught.
The Lion King is a good example of the dangers of running from grief. Simba adopts a carefree lifestyle where he tries to put the past behind him at the cost of ignoring his responsibilities and stunting his growth. This shows that grief doesn't affect people in isolation: its ripples can be felt in the friends and family of the grieving person and have unforeseen consequences if not treated.